e-book Life Gives Me Lemons: Adventures in Bad Luck and Bold Misfortune

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Holmes, Sherlock Fictitious character -- Fiction. Private investigators -- England -- Fiction. Detective and mystery stories, English. Read this book online: HTML. EPUB with images. EPUB no images.

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Kindle with images. My Mom always knew I could not follow rules. I tried to touch the sky Long before I could fly. I cherished giggles and fun. Ocean in My Mind. The water consumes everything around Sinking, sinking, I continue to drown Screaming, fighting, and yet there is no sound. Growth Of The Bitter. This rage of my screaming pain I writhe in my own agony of the stains The stains it has caused in my mind and oh so many fabrics The blood stains of bitterly depression.

True Freedom. It's awful, this thought that brought it up keeps on coming. The laws, the media, the repeating cycle of what's new. It's causing poverty, and honestly, we are consciously lost. Gains and Growing Pains. Step one Look up to your brother he's in your corner And has a back when you've got none, don't let him down. I don't know I'm just a kid trying to be an adult. Wait, let's go back to freshman year when College wasn't on my brain at all I just wanted to live life and party till I fall. That name you speak is not for me.

I am stuck in the age that you love to mock, but it wasn't my fault I couldn't stop the clock. Two thick braids have unraveled into soft curls, grinning crooked teeth turned to bright whitened pearls. Temporary Dreams. Do you ever wish you could go back to sleep? A place where you've already achieved All your hopes and dreams? Do you ever wish you could be asleep Instead of being awake, And wanting to scream? Dear Students. Students Aren't human Schools only pretend To give a shit And be prudent Because in their eyes You're only a statistic. Moving Forward. As I wake every morning I thank God I'm alive.

Because the decisions I've made shouldn't have let me survive. You and Me or You and Her. Ding Dong as the bell floats away, Acqua Di Gio surrounds you, The taste of your lips on mine, My blood boils as it touches your face, Finally my worries are lost. Verbal Filter Glow up. I glow and I grow everyday a new way when I was young I had no filter a slip of the tongue too common.

The Sun and the Color Yellow. Favorable Change. There once was a British Indian girl, Who lived in British world. Eating her fish and chips, But still loving her Indian dips One day she was told, That she would have to leave her usual mold. He walks just as honorable as he stands He talks with intelligence and compassion He has the determination to withstand, The actions that take a toll on his passions. A gold mirror always hung on my wall, I've never seem to think of it at all. The Unknown. The way he looks at the other guy I am truly unhappy, but it's unclear why Nevertheless my wife approches my side.

Give Up Your Illusion. Roses are red, Violets are Blue- Bubbles are all the colors of the rainbow Just like me and you I lean in for a kiss Then you push me away But that's more than okay Becuase you'll love me one day. Proud to be an American. From George washington's cherry tree, to the JFK incident that we heard on the the seven o'clock news. Promised by Donald Trump to build a border wall all the way out to the sea,.

God's Love. Heaven Can Wait. Did you know you ruined my life? I heard you laugh while you did it, Did you know you ruined my life? With your words so insipid,. For years I lived in the pages Of other places, of other ages. I lived alongside heroes so brave I helped countless lives be saved. I lived in the pages of books young and old And in stories not yet told.

Like the crew of a ship whose captainHas never sailed beforeTo unfamiliar shore. Overcoming Adversity. I come to the same house everyday and act like a different person And yes I said house Because a home is where love and dreams prosper and a house is made of brick, wood and dust. I wish I could write. I wish my pain could write a song, powerful enough to save all the broken hearts that were done wrong. If only I could find a place, quiet enough for my mind to not give way,to chase. A Girl's Dream. A girl always wants what she dreams.

The mirror is her biggest foe. One day she is beautiful,. Everything comes to an end. Whether it be falling into the water, or hearing your heart shatter, your car of life will drive around the bend. Your heart will not beat, and you'll breathe your last breath. When You Dig A Hole. When You dig a hole, where does the dirt go? And do You dig it fast or do You dig it slow? In the end, a hole is a hole But once You are in, it is time to console. To get out of the hole, here is a clue:. Digital She. She is not really brave curdles life never mind the grave like a teen fancy life she crave confined in a cocoon she feels when 'they' deny her thrills Deeply travel she seeks an outing off the shores.

The underneath of my heart solely encampeth the own you, buzzing with joy,as if never leapt leaping with love,as if never to yield Love that won't just stop about seeking the clarity of,. Years of change. Freshman year, with glasses sheek. She walked with tears, and an orchestra geek. She had a crush, that broke her heart. He made her blush, but not enough. Left quickly as a dart. How Much I've Grown. Have you ever felt that you had the best of friends? That you and your friends could get past al the twists and bends?

That no matter what you went through, you would still be entwined? Grow With The Flow. Life begins to zoom. Growing up too soon. Been six years in school.


Not my first crush but closest to first love. Went through things no kid ever should've. Years of off and on revealed to be. Lost Girl. Innocence, purity of the heart and soul. Distant from the grasp of reality. Untouched, unharmed, unphased by philosophical question.

Who are we? Isn't It Crazy? The happiest point in my life, Is somewhere I'm supposed to be, Your youth shouldn't be filled with strife, Instead it should be carefree; But that has nothing to do with me, But I'm blessed with a family,. Divided we stand. Like when they blew up the Twin Towers or when we invaded Iraq.

The Painting is a Mirror. Too much on the mind but not enough to say There's something magical about writing And coughing on the foam of a latte Too much to say but not enough to see Listening to the people singing. Rainbow stripe skirt. When the doors opened, my back was turned But the voice that came in caused my skin to go numb. I peered towards the sound that rose up from a girl With a rainbow-stripe skirt and a tone unconcerned. Come live with me and be my love, I want to wear it like a glove; I will give you all that I am, My heart, my soul, with no exam.

Don't care, they Care. Fear, the Animal. Dangling Above the Trees. I stared below at the thousands of trees That were so small they looked like broccoli I stumbled ahead while my knees shook heavily As if laughing at my attempted bravery. Thinking with my Heart. A Change Within.

Past is Future. If we are ever to last We must learn from our fumbles And we must stay humble. Bubbling, rippling, boiling fears Red hot steaming ears. Anger from the little voice The one you have no choice To ignore. He can shake you to your core. Soon you fear he is right. Overcome awkward - Meet people. What did I do to have met you? Breaking Free. I am the small voice that fades into the background, I am the cowardly dog who puts down their head, I am the thought that never gets to be expound,.

Surrounded by Crowds. Moving Onward. My biggest fear, A most realistic dread-- Was once the day You would move away And leave me behind. A beloved sista,. I Pledge Allegiance. Stage Fright. March On. Soggy boots stomp on crumbled lands No tears are wept for their bloody hands Legs of lead and Hearts of steel. Courage is the Key. Safety, comfortability, contentment Things we all long to feel. But we find ourselves in resentment Aching hearts we conceal. Fear, Risk, Uncomfortability Things people fight to avoid. What I Tell Myself.

I tell myself to get out there And hold my head up high and long. To Not Be Alone. No, a chase? What If? If I could spell fear then I wouldn't, Given the chance, I'd scream it in its face, You would begin to stutter but you shouldn't, Fear was designed to put you in your place,. Fills The Space. My heart races Eyes blood red Loneliness fills the spaces Were happiness fled. You never touched me but I hugged you. Call Me a Liberalist. Daughter vs. Dad Drunk Edition. My Dad drinks, I don't and I plan to keep it that way.

Everyday at my house it's a battle. Roses are red Violets are blue, I was afraid to talk about sex with you. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how Please me why this is such hell. Talking with trust. Scared of rejection Scared of judgement I'll stare at my reflection Every moment.

The Hidden Impact. Standing, Front of the room, All eyes on you, As your sweat pours through your shirt, Shivering under the searing lights,. I May, I Will. Run as fast as your feet can tread When you get here I may be dead Use the force that God gave at birth Please use your endless mirth. How to cure Metrophobia. Afraid to Fall. It was my first time dating, And I had no idea how good it would be.

Teigra's Lament. Moon children we are of claw and fur, less I am without, cast away in their wrath. Burning, breaking, hurting, taking, Could we use a little more decision-making. The Familiar Voice. Overcoming the fear of mistakes. Black and White. Just words. Same Old Song. Confusing World. Comin' up in this confusing world You're not sure if you're a boy or a girl You told me not to tell your parents But could your haircut make it any more apparent? Somebody help me get through this. Too Fat For Fame. I remember it like it was seconds ago. Anxiously, Waiting in the hall for my group to be called To awe a table of discriminators And teach these other girls a thang or two as if I was an educator.

My Pizazz. I only understood numbers. I thought I was fine, But that was poorly defined. I often dream that problems can go away and hide, But often times, what becomes clear, is that they just stay inside, I procrastinate the schoolwork that would take away from my day,.

Again Confused and lonely, but not alone Wondering about life. Money or Happiness. You are only making things worse. I hated running the race, everyone was starring and giving a weird face. A Step To Making Friends. To overcome is hard For me, the first step was just the start We were standing about twenty feet apart I started walking up to them and they put up their guard. I can't help desires. They will come from deep inside, With no way to hide.

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I don't wish to disgrace them, But only to keep them calm. Rudy Valle. Overcoming My Eating Disorder. Why do I look like this? Oh God, I hate myself,. Until Now. Until now you are still burdened Sins with and without you reign Sin has caused terror in your age You are hopeless and discouraged. Asian dad with a stick. Progress report has arrived I may not make it out alive Mailman came too late My dad's anger bout to escalate Sitting here in fear Man I need a beer Still underaged. Fight My Lies. I'm a liar. Wish I wasn't, but I am. The desire to make her like me.

My apologies, it's a scam. I don't want to sit alone at lunch so please form me into what you fancy. I'm the new kid, a clean slate, I'm a people pleaser and that's ok. Till Death do us Part. The day is already complete. Aya tha kuch banne mei. Kuch toh karke jaunga. Khuli aankho se jo sapna dekha Poora mei kar dikhaunga.

Reality before Religion. Embarrassment for most, failure for me. No matter how hard I work. I just smile and smirk,. On Stage. My feet pitter pattered as I walked towards the stage. My hands are starting to become clammy. I wonder, should I walk back or engage? Things I won't admit. Oh my lady am really honest Of all I have met you are the finest Your glow engulfs,every single moment. Falling Up. The horizon faded. The ailerons, jaded. The winds blew fast and through. The comms whirred.

Myself, concerned. I clutched the yoke and heard a croak. All Shades of Brown are Green. All these years I had been hoping to find the courage to achieve all of my wildest dreams. I did not realize that courage comes from within. If you could see Brown the way I see Green,. Ice through your veins Your confidence wanes A door shut tight You can't make it right You're a failure.

The Four Letter Word. The Sharp and Cold Razor. Whose razor is that? I think I know. It's owner is quite sad though. It really is a tale of woe, I watch her frown. I cry hello. Her Ap'pear L 'ance. Yes, a pearl, from an oyster. So unique in this world,. Just Breathe. By myself, I am so calm, But, in a group Hot sweat lingers on my palms. My heart begins to pound, I begin breathing shorter and faster I feel the anxiety all around. Overcoming Tryouts. Walking into the gym, The butterflies in my stomach turn. I watch a boy warm up and wish I could be as good as him.

Return of The Storm King

My stomach continues to churn. In My Pocket. Frozen memories Lost in time Tattered corners Forever mine And in my pocket you may lay Until I need you again someday. Don't Fear the Fight. Not much you can do about Fear, but Take the Wheel and start to steer. If you let it, Fear will steer you. Hold your Course ever so near you,. You can't tell me. Fear of The future.

Fear, Such a silly word. Courage, Something I never had. Living and breathing, Never doing as I pleased. Terrified to speak, Always weak in the knees. Never knew how to say,. Discourse Between Lovers; and Reconciliation. I Have you any comprehension? Breaking the Mold. Will I ever be who I was taught to be? Will I ever grow into the mold that was created for me? Though life is meant to be lived with free will.

The Itsy Bitsy Spider. The itsy bitsy spider crawled up inside my brainDown came its fangs and induced all my painOut came my hand and smacked it on my veinAnd I realized that I still felt my pain the same. I Can't see in the Dark. I can't see in the dark.

My footsteps only bring me in deep. How am I supposed to take a leap? When I'm gone, what should be my mark? My feet stumble as I go. What lies before me? A creature in the dark sea,Waiting to devour in the faint glow? The fear. Sprinting in the dark towards an ominous finish line. Track Athlete. I whispered with the devil and he told me what to do. He said some people might not like it, even me, and it's true. Whether it's a noose around my neck, or a bullet in my head, he said he doesn't care at all; he just needs me dead.

Dark Shadows. Scared of Getting Better. Leap of Faith. Way up there? I'm with the band. In this place I walk alone. Holding my instrument, the trombone. I did not know the people here, but I walked in there freshmen year. My fear was gone in not a month for with my new friends I did triumph. Going First. Going first. So easy it might seem. It starts feeling like a dream. It's rattling me from within. How bad can it be? Like the calm mellow sea. Everyone is looking at me. I feel anxiety. Ups and downs. Cheer of Champions. The beauty as they tumble and fly across the air.

The grace they have when stunting and the jumps they do with care!

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The bell rings, My eyes sting. My hands shake, I want to run from this terrible fate. But it is to late,. How I fought my fears. Fear is near, fear is here. What do I do? No, wait! I fell from the horse, I cannot loss, I will be the boss! Straight back on the horse. Determination and stready coarse.

I Love Me. I take my heart and stick it on my sleeve With my mind opened to start, I open my eyes and see That whenever they are jealous, and call me names, my heart is what matters I wont play these games. Hopeful for the Future. He's All Around Me. The Dark Figure. Aren't we all just souls with tear-away faces. Within and Without Self. Forward is all we ever know The change from inside Outward shame to hide Toward the present answer, "No.

Sinister Lies. Tell me again, your sweet sinister liesCross your heart and hope to die. Tell me again how she was only a friend,Only one kiss that's the end. Tell me again why you sneak out at night. One Step Forward. I should not fear it, but it's inevitable, The image of I standing with my brand that has reached beyond my expectations The less I believe the more it becomes debatable. Public Speaking. The Bravest. Can't Escape What's in My Head. Thoughts of terrible things in my head. My loved ones might leave me behind.

Or they find me in the gutter, naked and dead. Trying to relax. Need to stop thinking. Then its anger manifested itself in a number of strange occurrences. First, the sunroof mysteriously exploded while my brother drove the car up the Garden State Parkway. View out my sunroof post explosion. Clearly, the car knew it was headed for the chopping block. Six months ago, when my car had turned against me for the absolute worst, I had the unique opportunity to run myself over with it. I cite this as a unique opportunity not because it was original or creative in any particular way. As it turns out, plenty of people make the same miscalculation that led to my car leveling and then dragging me down a dark, dirt road sans driver.

The bit that makes my story distinct among the rest is the simple fact that I am still alive. The knee injury I had a distinct clue about. In a long athletic career of soccer, lacrosse, skiing, and Thanksgiving Day tackle football with all male cousins, I had somehow managed to dodge the seemingly inevitable ACL tear. An orthopedist once told me I had unusually strong and resilient ligaments for a woman. What a sexy compliment! But there was nothing heroic about getting my all-wheel drive Subaru stuck on ice, four tires spinning, while exhaust poured out the tailpipe into the frosted March nightscape.

I tried every trick in my quiver from the reliable floor mat solution to aggressive Drive and Reverse rocking, all to no avail. In an act of desperation, I phoned Troy who was staying in a condo just up the road with his team. Damsel in distress is not a role I play with ease, yet I pleaded for a rescue. He showed up moments later, assessed the situation, and got behind the car to offer a manly push.

The car pulled right off the ice with his effort, but he was still behind pushing. I was ecstatic to be free of the tight jam in which I had found myself, and I wanted to both thank him for his help and tell him we were all good. Wait for it—this car is about to royally kick my ass. They roll in the downhill direction, following the fall line, much like an out of control ski racer in the midst of a high-speed crash. Conventional wisdom prevailed in this case, and instead of holding the car back by bracing myself against the door, I was, instead, leveled and then wedged between the roadway and the undercarriage of the vehicle with my right leg bent backwards underneath my body.

I was caught under the car and was dragged across the ground while it rolled backwards down the dirt road until Troy—the genuine hero of the story—was able to jump into the moving vehicle, Hollywood stuntman-style, and put it in Park. From underneath the car, this felt like the passing of whole minutes. In reality, it was mere seconds. But I had struck my head on the frozen ground when my open door took me out, and I was legitimately in a haze.

Even after the car was no longer moving, I still felt like it was. And then I uttered the most brilliant words of the night.

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Indeed, a much better idea. My way of emotionally coping with coming as close as I ever have to killing myself and nearly earning my very own Darwin Award was as blunt and decisive as the conclusion of this epic. I replaced the demonic Subaru with a totally sweet Honda. Run over? Still possible, though substantially less likely. Viv thought I was crazy because I was still heading out on daily afternoon rides.

I am, after all, exceptionally prone to blisters. As I pedaled past the empty Mountain View parking lot and rode out to Harp for a quick warm-up, I thought about all the poor fools who were working in offices, fighting with perpetually jammed copy machines, breathing recycled indoor air. I was entirely alone with the whole playground to myself.

This new trail, Troll Stroll, had stolen the crown of my personal favorite ride from Kitchel which had previously usurped the throne from Sidewinder. Kitchel is fast and flowy with banked turns that remind me of a luge track. Does that really surprise you? But Troll Stroll is more unsuspecting. It uses the sidehill of Darling Ridge to create a harmonious flow track, and the freshly cut tree stumps call to mind toadstools.

To give you a sense…. And mine. While entering a quick downhill transition, my front tire caked in frozen mud to the point that it functioned as smoothly as a pair of slicks , hit a pile of leaves. I lost all control and endoed into a tree. No big deal. What exactly is an endo? An apocopation from the phrase end-over-end, an endo is a bicycling accident in which the rider is thrown forward over the handlebars. It rarely bodes well for the cyclist, and it can be equally hazardous to the bicycle under some circumstances. There are varying degrees of savvy which individual riders may apply to the artful execution of the endo, but it is almost always an unplanned and fortuitous occurrence.

This small accident in no way convinced me that the riding conditions were dangerous. I come from a long breed of complete klutzes. So as I lay on the side of the trail rubbing my knee which had hyper-extended due to a late pedal release, I was certain the fall was due to pilot error. The frozen mud in my cleat might have been the culprit. I invoked the words of my grandfather. Not the ones where he told me to poke the competition in the eyes. He used a disturbing hand gesture to indicate that one, too.

So I jumped back on the bike and proceeded to pedal hard into the next downhill transition. The result was pretty much the same, only this time I took a bar end straight to the gut. This random dude demonstrates the crucial endo tactic of getting his core the heck away from his handlebars to avoid bodily harm. He might have even tucked and rolled right out of this. Totally ready for X Games.